Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
