Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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