we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
