Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
