THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She bit a glass in half.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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