You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
