I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
