that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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