i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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