Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
