The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
