Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
