She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
