hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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