Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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