thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
