Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
