Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
