remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
