i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I believe in your delicious
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize