ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
