according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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