I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
