Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
