anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
