Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
