he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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