Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
