Screwed.edu
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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