If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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