Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
