LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
