Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize