Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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