Acid is not a monday night drug
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
