I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
