white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
