dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
