I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
