so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
