i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
