one two three fourrrrnication!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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