why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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