I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Four minutes until I can fart!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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