Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
