i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Don't tell me you're on acid again
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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