oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
