I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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