weddingsv make me drug and hornr
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
