mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize