I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
