i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
