i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
