Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You can't just leave with hair like that
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
