the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
