Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
